There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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