you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
