shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
