Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
