Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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