do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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