Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
