1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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