he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Less talking, more tequila
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
