it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
