where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
