it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
