so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
