I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
