Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
