I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
