I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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