apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize