There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
