How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
