I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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