you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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