If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
