There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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