I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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