she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
