ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize