I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
that is very illegal...i love you.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
