Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
