this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize