i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
