i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
