she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
