Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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