Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
