i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
