Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
