I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
