yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
