Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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