I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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