I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
