so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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