I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you would pick up someone in the library
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
