yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i think my cat just said my name.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
