I showed him my bush... on skype.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
