You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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