i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize