Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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