You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
