Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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