I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
MIDGETS
????
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
