It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
