This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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