areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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