Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
