ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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