Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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