Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
