she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
