I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
